The temporary beauty.

So something quite popular in my instagram feed is nail art, and not any normal white dots on red polish pieces, full on paintings of favorite acts, books, animals, etc and the best part being their life is one day. 

As a sad former art student (forced till 10th) and a current arts (humanities yay!) student what has confused me is why would someone let something so beautiful be temporary. for example, yesterday i watched a video of a lady painstakingly painting on a cheetah (glittery green eyes and all) and today a picture a picture of her bare nails, void of the art painted on yesterday. such was the temporariness. if i were to make something so pretty it would be with a tattoo machine, on my body, cause the fact is a tattoo lasts forever. (or was it diamonds? I Dunno).

If my computer were ever to be formatted I would regret the deletion of the million drafts I have written.Nothing major, just a few lines which may never see the light of day but, something I hold close to e .similarly with things, I’m a sad collector of everything from empty pens to newspapers, and the fact is, I don’t even ever open or use the again but their physical presence is something i need and something my mother detests. Its like little chunks of my memory are stored in the cloud accounts of these artifacts (see it?) and if I were to lose them, i were to lose the memory.

So really how could one live in the temporary. how could one not want permanent chunks. tell me in the comments below.

Forever confused,


Ze confused teenager’s crappy attempt at poetry.


I’m a dreamer, As obsessive as one can be.

dream about Mountains, dream about valleys, dream about the far seas

Dream about the blessed salt drenched smell of the beach, The fresh mountain air

the experiences that could be.

Dream about people, tall and short

dream about trees.

dream about the gravel being crunched under my feet

dream about what i could see.

dream about the things i could eat,

savour themin my mouth

let out a loud sigh and thank the food god

dream about the day when my passport runs out pages

and when my bucket list becomes empty

dream about the day i couldspeak a handful of languages

and deal with various currencies

dream about the experiences i’m missing

and the post cards to collect

dream about the various suitcases

waiting to be fed

dream about the life, that is meant to be

Who am I?

When I started this blog, I was at a low ebb in my life. My social life sucked, I hated school and life was just this time table i followed. which rarely changed, it felt like it was the way it was and i couldn’t do much about it. zero, nil, nada.

So I turned to blogging,i felt it would be the secret double life i would lead. a life where i controlled myself, who i was and what i did.

I felt like a secret ninja, not too many I knew knew. Those who knew knew too much to hide this from them.

until i decided to go public. Not completely public but i posted my url on this social networking site which i felt not too many from my school frequented and then everyone knew. i don’t know how, whether it was a sudden boom in that site or word of mouth but people from my school knew. people i wanted to write my next blog post on. people,i wanted to hide this secret life from. so i withdrew, withdrew from my secret life and decided to live the life i actually live, no string attached.

Until, life came full circle and the high went low. Friends became few and the critics became more. it was as if life was and still is throwing cow dung at me.

so i decided to come back to my roots, to blogging. Cause “Hogwarts will always be there to welcome me back home” wait, wrong. Cause writing was my love. the beautiful mix of 26 letters thrills me, the smell of books old and new excites me and heck, writing makes me.

So sorry for being M.I.A. You’ll be happy to know that one confused teenager is back.

The kinds of people you meet in a pool.

1. The “I do breadths in the lengths section”
Im every pool there is always this one person who decides that swimming lengths is too mainstream and that he/she will swim breadths. Let people stop midway caise I am the boss!

2. The “I am gonna float in the MIDDLE of the pool let people swim around me”
That lovely guy who decides to act dead and float in the middle of the pool cause he likes to be in the centre of attention.  And if one hits him in the process of swimming you are met with a snarl and a stern warning that next time you do that you will be kicked out! Swimming pools are for swimming floating.

3. The kids.
These are the people who give another use to the pool and make it their water pit. You will mostly find them floating underwater kicking you while doing laps and diving in the pool and using you arm as aid to come up for air.

4. The gossip girls
Mostly found in the edgea they will be dicscussing their swimsuits, tans and how they can’t swim! Who cares if they are in the 10 foot side, the sides of the pool are their territory.

5. The “I have to teach my kid to swim so I’ll make him wear floaties and put him bang in the middle of the 10 foot side! He is wearing floaties so he can waddle in the middle and grin from left to right as an apology”.
I think the title describes this kind perfectly. Also the kids enjoy playing the game of “grab his arm! Grab his leg! We have floaties! We don’t care!”

So that’s my list of people I meet in the pool! You definitely have some too! Share in the comments! I wanna see!

Forever confused,

Does the kindle really kindle my reading skills.

A lot has been said about the latest e-book readers. Small and neat it holds a lot of books and also has features whih a normal book does not have. Old world book patrons have put their hands up in the air and said “nothing can ever replace a proper book” I for one, was a part of that group, buying and borrowing books every other day. Until I was given a kindle for my birthday. The parents went all “now you can buy and read books on these, see, now we won’t have three trunks full of your books only. I was kinda apprehensive but decided to give it a try. I was amazed at how fast I could buy a book and how cheap some of them were (classics are mostly free) and while I read I did not notice any difference, it was just me and various combinationd of 26 letters, 10 numbers and a variety of grammatical symbols.  I was amazed at how one could very simply highlight a sentance or word, research on google and wikipedia, share it with my friends, translate into a variety of languages and do loads and loads more on one device. Something which really caught my fancy was that the kindle will read the book out to you and that I can send pdf’s, text and word documents and images from my computer through my kindle id or through the usb cable.

Apart from the above the kindle has two experimental ideas which a user can use that of surfing the net and listening to music. For a harry potter fan I found it incredibly easy to read fanfictions from my kindle.

The one place where the kindle may missout is the speed. Things happens slowly and sometimes simple things like googling a document make the system crash.

To sum up, though I still enjoy the feel of a real book the kindle has made life easier for me. I have been able to treat myself to books of various genres on vacations and while out something I wound not been able to do with actual books.

I am not sure if my modep the kondle touch is still sold. But then a kindle is a kindle and I highly recommend it.

Forever confused,

The bucket list- the leap of faith


You know that lovely moment when you look at something and you fall in love. No I am not talking about guys here. That moment when you see something and you know you wanna do it.  One of those “do or die” things, or to rephrase it better, “do and can die” things. Huh?

Have you ever felt life makes you write a never ending bucket list? Like ohh look at that now thats on my bucket list.

Oh okay enough rambling.

So couple of years ago while watching tv I stumbled upon this show where they were showing the best water parks on the world and one of them was Atlantis which is this park in dubai and they showed the leap of faith, which is this crazy almost vertical really tall slide, ooh and did I tell you there are sharks in the water down?

So yeah long story short on 2nd January of this year I went to atlantis and I had my first real look at the leap of faith, gulped a couple of times, remembered the various gods in the world, put on a brave face(and my swimsuit) and told my mum let’s tacke the leap of faith. Five minutes later we are shivering of cold and maybe fear and watching people slide down screaming, saying some really nice words and well remembering their respective gods. So when it was my mums turn and she did it I was like heck! If she can do it I can do it too. So well I get myself into the slidey part and take my leap of faith, and then I look down and the sight isn’t realky pretty. It’s like you are jumping down a 10 storey building luckily I reach water and get done with the leap of faith.

You know you should test your boundaries, reach for the unreachable, do the undouble, and mostly love the unlivable.

Forever confused,

Ps. The image is not mine.

Some will be missed.


The balcony

In life, there comes many moments when you have to say goodbye. It could be to family, former flames, pets, friends or even materialistic things which hold a place in a great chunk of your heart.

A pisecean is known to hoard things, things important and absurd. Tiny pencils, broken picture frames, ticket stubs even friends. I for one have hoarded everything, physically and mentally, in my drawers, in my memory card or in my brain. But sadly, one aspect of the defence life is, you always move. What happens to the walls the saw you grow?, to the trees that watched you flower?, to the floor you once walked on. It stays, remains the same, and all that is left are memories.

Baby pigeons, those red flowers, the view of almost everything Delhi has to offer. That one balcony had it all. Precious moments in life, which will never come again, spent in it. But what happens when you have to say adieu?

Goodbye balcony, goodbye trees, goodbye pigeons, I’m off to write new memories. But, you will be missed.


So, February is over and March is here! Though this post is coming in a little late i wanted to do this post. I am reminded of this comic I read as a kid in my favorite comic book of all times, Tinkle, about this dog called March.Setting that aside, this is why March makes my heart march. (Sorry i has to do say that)

1. The weather.
Perfectly warm. Soothingly pleasant.

2. Holidays.
Summer vacations begin now! Okay, on the 20th.

3. Communicational freedom.
The long, complicated word for… *drum roll* me getting a mobile phone! Yay! Now I no more need to bank on the lovely landline.

March I may,
but what do I say,
every coin has a flip side,
I should get ready for this rough ride.
Belt Up!

1. Exams.
If you did read my last post, you would know. 50 chapters in total. I’m more clueless than ever.

2. Shifting house.
Reading my blog title, I would seem like a nomad, with no connection to the place where I am at. But then, I am human, with friends. To move to a place where i know almost no one, it’s heartbreaking.

And, as of now. Thats all that March holds for me.

What are your views on March?? Tell me!

Forever confused,

Exam Fever.

Ah! The official Party pooper in anyones life, exams, are here. often known as test or even paper apart from other disguised names, exams can cause a person to radically change his lifestyle for the better (actually worse).

everyone has to give an exam, from a baby who howls the second he is born, to his first medical test which includes height, weight, colour of poop and all that imperative information to school tests which include questions like ramu and shamu have seven apples when will the train hit ramu and find the radius of ramu’s blood which has splattered after ramu got hit by the train. believe me that is easy, to job questions, are you ready travel eight days a week and also sign this sheet giving us control of your life, which slowly ends with a death test which includes questions like why he died, when he died?, and did he drink apple juice before he died?. Jeez the guys dead. Et him rest in peace. Also between these milestone life tests we have driving tests, blood tests and the occasional forgot password test to name a few.

Now you may wonder, why is she talking about tests?

well from 10th to the 20th of march i will what people call the person who gives the test. how will it affect this blog? i wont be able to post much and even if i do it will be painfully short and sad or pre-written. s interaction will be to the minimum. but do remember i love my readers and i promise to jump back in action once im done.

do you like tests?

Forever Confused.